Sunday, June 29, 2008
Oh Captain, My Captain
I don't really have anything interesting to post today, so here is a picture of a baby driving a sailboat, courtesy of Brian Jones. Enjoy!
Friday, June 27, 2008
The Weekly Roundup
Unity in Unity
Party Unity in NH, as Clinton Talks and Obama Says "She Rocks"
Did he say she sucks? No, he meant she ROCKS. Yeah, that’s what he said. She just doesn’t rock enough to be vice president. At least she better not.
(Washington Post)
Maybe Ken Is Right
Salmonella Tomato Outbreak Biggest Ever
My friend Ken won’t eat red food and has a particular distaste for tomatoes in any form. And his beautiful wife, Bette, is a great Italian cook! He actually will eat marinara but not ketchup or any other type of tomato based food product. Does this mean that Ken is now the safest person in the country, at least when it comes to food poisoning?
(WebMD)
Good Use of Tax Dollars
Scientist Is Paid Millions by U.S. in Anthrax Suit
First the FBI wastes millions of dollars to investigate this man whose only suspicious behavior, as far as I can tell, is that some in the media speculated that he might be involved. Now, we get to pay out millions more to settle a lawsuit by this guy. Once again, taxpayers get screwed on the front end and the back end. Neither is as appealing as it sounds.
(New York Times)
A Little Sex
Judge orders TMZ to remove sex tape of actor Verne Troyer
“Mini Me” got carried away with his ex and decided to make a sex tape. Either this is a publicity stunt or Mr. Troyer is a moron. Doesn’t he know that EVERYBODY’s sex tape eventually ends up on TMZ?
(Los Angeles Times)
Shooting Down Gun Restrictions
NRA sues San Francisco over guns in public housing
Wow, the NRA wastes no time, do they? This is good news, because just the other day I was thinking that what our housing projects need more of is handguns.
(San Francisco Chronicle)
Muskrat Love
Burrowing muskrat causes levee to fail in Missouri
Another shining success by our beloved Army Corps of Engineers! You gotta love Linda Wilmesherr’s quote in the third paragraph. I guess the NRA didn’t work fast enough for poor Linda.
(The Associated Press)
Despicable
Millionaire gets 40 months for enslaving maids
The Golden Rule clearly doesn’t apply in the Sabhnani household.
(CNN)
Hey Little Girl, Want Some Budweiser?
Study: Many Underage Drinkers Get Free Alcohol From Adults
When I was a kid, my dad and uncles had this little game going where nephews and nieces were always offered beers, but sons and daughters weren’t. For example, when the party was at our house, my dad wouldn’t let my teenage brothers and sister drink, but he’d offer my teenage cousins beers, and the situation would be reversed when the party was at my uncles’ houses. I always thought it was funny. My Uncle Johnny first offered me a beer when I was like 14. My dad had a fit.
(ABC News)
Same Old Song And Dance
Steven Tyler Says He Needed to Kick Pain and Sleep Drugs
Let’s hope it takes this time.
(People)
Pathetic
Bride-to-Be Takes a Chance on eBay for a Bidding Bridesmaid
This sounds like a story more suited for The National Enquirer than the New York Times, but there it is. Some loser is paying $5,700 to stand in some strangers’ wedding. How pathetic do you have to be to bid on something like that? Probably at least as pathetic as people who auction off a spot in their wedding party to the entire world. Kelly Gray is the bride-to-be. “I know some people out there are crazy,” Ms. Gray said. “We just want anybody who is willing to have fun. We’re fun, and we’re hoping someone won’t come in and ruin it for us.” I don’t know, but if I spent almost 6 grand to stand in some loser’s wedding plus had to pay the travel expenses and all that, I’d have a strong urge to start a naked conga line at the reception. Or even possibly during the ceremony. Good luck to Ms. Gray and her (has to be) embarrassed groom-to-be.
(New York Times)
Party Unity in NH, as Clinton Talks and Obama Says "She Rocks"
Did he say she sucks? No, he meant she ROCKS. Yeah, that’s what he said. She just doesn’t rock enough to be vice president. At least she better not.
(Washington Post)
Maybe Ken Is Right
Salmonella Tomato Outbreak Biggest Ever
My friend Ken won’t eat red food and has a particular distaste for tomatoes in any form. And his beautiful wife, Bette, is a great Italian cook! He actually will eat marinara but not ketchup or any other type of tomato based food product. Does this mean that Ken is now the safest person in the country, at least when it comes to food poisoning?
(WebMD)
Good Use of Tax Dollars
Scientist Is Paid Millions by U.S. in Anthrax Suit
First the FBI wastes millions of dollars to investigate this man whose only suspicious behavior, as far as I can tell, is that some in the media speculated that he might be involved. Now, we get to pay out millions more to settle a lawsuit by this guy. Once again, taxpayers get screwed on the front end and the back end. Neither is as appealing as it sounds.
(New York Times)
A Little Sex
Judge orders TMZ to remove sex tape of actor Verne Troyer
“Mini Me” got carried away with his ex and decided to make a sex tape. Either this is a publicity stunt or Mr. Troyer is a moron. Doesn’t he know that EVERYBODY’s sex tape eventually ends up on TMZ?
(Los Angeles Times)
Shooting Down Gun Restrictions
NRA sues San Francisco over guns in public housing
Wow, the NRA wastes no time, do they? This is good news, because just the other day I was thinking that what our housing projects need more of is handguns.
(San Francisco Chronicle)
Muskrat Love
Burrowing muskrat causes levee to fail in Missouri
Another shining success by our beloved Army Corps of Engineers! You gotta love Linda Wilmesherr’s quote in the third paragraph. I guess the NRA didn’t work fast enough for poor Linda.
(The Associated Press)
Despicable
Millionaire gets 40 months for enslaving maids
The Golden Rule clearly doesn’t apply in the Sabhnani household.
(CNN)
Hey Little Girl, Want Some Budweiser?
Study: Many Underage Drinkers Get Free Alcohol From Adults
When I was a kid, my dad and uncles had this little game going where nephews and nieces were always offered beers, but sons and daughters weren’t. For example, when the party was at our house, my dad wouldn’t let my teenage brothers and sister drink, but he’d offer my teenage cousins beers, and the situation would be reversed when the party was at my uncles’ houses. I always thought it was funny. My Uncle Johnny first offered me a beer when I was like 14. My dad had a fit.
(ABC News)
Same Old Song And Dance
Steven Tyler Says He Needed to Kick Pain and Sleep Drugs
Let’s hope it takes this time.
(People)
Pathetic
Bride-to-Be Takes a Chance on eBay for a Bidding Bridesmaid
This sounds like a story more suited for The National Enquirer than the New York Times, but there it is. Some loser is paying $5,700 to stand in some strangers’ wedding. How pathetic do you have to be to bid on something like that? Probably at least as pathetic as people who auction off a spot in their wedding party to the entire world. Kelly Gray is the bride-to-be. “I know some people out there are crazy,” Ms. Gray said. “We just want anybody who is willing to have fun. We’re fun, and we’re hoping someone won’t come in and ruin it for us.” I don’t know, but if I spent almost 6 grand to stand in some loser’s wedding plus had to pay the travel expenses and all that, I’d have a strong urge to start a naked conga line at the reception. Or even possibly during the ceremony. Good luck to Ms. Gray and her (has to be) embarrassed groom-to-be.
(New York Times)
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
George W. Bush Stimulates Me
Got my notification today. I owe the US government $600 less than I would have normally. Since I’m employed on contract, and pay my taxes directly to the government, I don’t actually get a check, but a “credit” that will be applied to my second quarter payment. Whatever. I guess it all comes out in the wash, but it’s a lot easier to spend money that you’re given, not that you don’t have to pay.
See, that’s the whole point of this advance rebate: to stimulate the economy. So, I hope that you’re not thinking about doing something foolish with your rebate, like paying credit card bills or beefing up your 401(k). No, no, no. This thing is only going to work if we all go out and spend the entire amount on frivolous items. It’s what real Americans are going to do.
In The West Wing episode “Stirred,” Charlie gets upset that his tax refund is several hundred dollars less than he is expecting. When Leo explains that the rebate he got the previous year had to be paid for, he correctly labels it as an advance, not a rebate. Leo scolds him, saying, “That doesn’t sound like very patriotic talk to me, Charlie,” to which Charlie replies, “It’s not!” Leo asks Charlie what he did with his “rebate” check.
Charlie: I paid down my Visa bill.
Leo: We’d have preferred you ate in a restaurant or traveled.
Charlie: Me, too.
[Bartlet walks in]
Leo: He used the rebate to pay his Visa bill.
Bartlet (to Charlie): A trip to Banana Republic would have killed you?
Later, Charlie asks Bartlet if the plan to stimulate the economy worked.
Bartlet (sighing): No, most people did what you did, put it in the bank or paid down debt.
Charlie: We don’t want people to save, or reduce their personal debt?
Bartlet: We do, but when the next guy’s president.
Charlie: Why not just wait until people were supposed to get the money?
Bartlet: The economy might have improved on its own by then.
Charlie: Which would have made the whole thing pointless to begin with.
Bartlet: Yep.
Charlie: Economists just kind of make it up as they go along, don’t they?
Bartlet: Yep.
So it turns out the whole thing was a political ploy to spend your money to give back money that you were entitled to anyway, several months before you were entitled to it, in order to take credit for an improving economy that probably would have improved without government interference anyway.
Is life imitating art here? We’ll see. If McCain declares the stimulus program a success and Obama a failure, we’ll have our answer.
Etc.
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Denis Patrick Carlin, 1937-2008
Thanks for the laughter, and the absurdity.
RIP
Groan
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
See, that’s the whole point of this advance rebate: to stimulate the economy. So, I hope that you’re not thinking about doing something foolish with your rebate, like paying credit card bills or beefing up your 401(k). No, no, no. This thing is only going to work if we all go out and spend the entire amount on frivolous items. It’s what real Americans are going to do.
In The West Wing episode “Stirred,” Charlie gets upset that his tax refund is several hundred dollars less than he is expecting. When Leo explains that the rebate he got the previous year had to be paid for, he correctly labels it as an advance, not a rebate. Leo scolds him, saying, “That doesn’t sound like very patriotic talk to me, Charlie,” to which Charlie replies, “It’s not!” Leo asks Charlie what he did with his “rebate” check.
Charlie: I paid down my Visa bill.
Leo: We’d have preferred you ate in a restaurant or traveled.
Charlie: Me, too.
[Bartlet walks in]
Leo: He used the rebate to pay his Visa bill.
Bartlet (to Charlie): A trip to Banana Republic would have killed you?
Later, Charlie asks Bartlet if the plan to stimulate the economy worked.
Bartlet (sighing): No, most people did what you did, put it in the bank or paid down debt.
Charlie: We don’t want people to save, or reduce their personal debt?
Bartlet: We do, but when the next guy’s president.
Charlie: Why not just wait until people were supposed to get the money?
Bartlet: The economy might have improved on its own by then.
Charlie: Which would have made the whole thing pointless to begin with.
Bartlet: Yep.
Charlie: Economists just kind of make it up as they go along, don’t they?
Bartlet: Yep.
So it turns out the whole thing was a political ploy to spend your money to give back money that you were entitled to anyway, several months before you were entitled to it, in order to take credit for an improving economy that probably would have improved without government interference anyway.
Is life imitating art here? We’ll see. If McCain declares the stimulus program a success and Obama a failure, we’ll have our answer.
Etc.
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Denis Patrick Carlin, 1937-2008
Thanks for the laughter, and the absurdity.
RIP
Groan
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Friday, June 6, 2008
A Fun Time
I keep waiting to post the pictures of the Third Annual Yankee Boil until I have time to write about it, but doesn't seem like that's happening anytime soon, so here are the photos. I'm not going to bother explaining who any of these people are or we'll be here all night. I'm sure I'll write about most of these people sooner or later and you can come back and reference. Haha.
Anyhow, without further ado, I give you the photos from the Third Annual Yankee Boil held May 24th, 2008 at our house in Stoneham, MA. These yankees love their crawfish! The photos are in no order except how they came out as I was uploading them.
Taylor & Steve
The birthday photo (every year, we have a cake and get a photo of all the people who have birthdays in May).
Taylor as The Thinker (Taylor was drunk and being a little silly. We like Taylor).
Mikey messing with Dev. Dev wasn't feeling well. I wonder if the hurricanes, cyclones, hand grenades and tropical itches had anything to do with that. Hmmmmm
Rubbing the drunk's head for good luck
This girl won the junior miss massachusetts title the next day. That head rubbing really works!
Bill showing some newbies how to enjoy the crawfish
Steve & Keith
The obligatory crawfish boil table shot
Mikey & Taryn (I think this is a cute picture)
Nancy & Bob
Nicky, Dianne & Maria
Eatin' good in the neighborhood!
A fun group posing with their commemorative t-shirts. Bill did a good job on the t's.
Kattttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Kay & Dave
Matt & Robbie and some of their pals
I guess I surprised Matt with this picture
Michael (this kid worked his butt off helping us get ready)
Anyhow, without further ado, I give you the photos from the Third Annual Yankee Boil held May 24th, 2008 at our house in Stoneham, MA. These yankees love their crawfish! The photos are in no order except how they came out as I was uploading them.
Taylor & Steve
The birthday photo (every year, we have a cake and get a photo of all the people who have birthdays in May).
Taylor as The Thinker (Taylor was drunk and being a little silly. We like Taylor).
Mikey messing with Dev. Dev wasn't feeling well. I wonder if the hurricanes, cyclones, hand grenades and tropical itches had anything to do with that. Hmmmmm
Rubbing the drunk's head for good luck
This girl won the junior miss massachusetts title the next day. That head rubbing really works!
Bill showing some newbies how to enjoy the crawfish
Steve & Keith
The obligatory crawfish boil table shot
Mikey & Taryn (I think this is a cute picture)
Nancy & Bob
Nicky, Dianne & Maria
Eatin' good in the neighborhood!
A fun group posing with their commemorative t-shirts. Bill did a good job on the t's.
Kattttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Kay & Dave
Matt & Robbie and some of their pals
I guess I surprised Matt with this picture
Michael (this kid worked his butt off helping us get ready)
Yes, we grill, too, and Mike is the Grillmaestro!
Harvey & Binnie with Bub
As the daylight winds down, the karaoke begins!
Which one's Hall and which one's Oates?
I will explain who Roxanne is cuz this is funny. Our next door neighbors Donald and Ilene (I've written about them before, in the Halloween post, Joey is their 4-year-old son) had their son Josh's first birthday party the same day and time as the boil. Josh is the baby boy that Lisa's holding in the birthday photo. So we were all kind of going back and forth between the two parties most of the afternoon. Roxanne is the girlfriend or fiancee of Ilene's brother, and they were spending the night at Don and Ilene's. When our party began to devolve into a karaokefest, Roxanne heard us and came running over in her pajama bottoms declaring her love for karaoke. So she and Bob did several duets for our entertainment. Between the karaoke and messing with the passed out Devon, we were having fun late into the night!
Bub The Chefmizzer (the most popular guy at the party)
Deana & Evan
Taryn's delicious crawfish cake!
Matt with his parents, Di and Mike
Lots and lots to eat!
It was a fun party, most everybody that said they were coming came, and we are eagerly looking forward to next year. And I'm sure we'll do it again; even though it's always been hell trying to get the crawfish up here, and this year was no exception (put it this way, Bub and I were at Continental Air Cargo at 11:30 the night before picking them up), it's always a lot of fun and people love it and they eat and eat and eat. That's all the validation I need!
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